Burton has released a new board (Oct 3rd) that guarantees to make board-waxers across the country very excited indeed.
Perhaps it has to do with Burton, perhaps to do with the well-known and much despised Playboy name, but this isnt the first time this has happened. And before you go accusing those snowboarders for being responsible for such depravity, think back to 2003 when Rossignol introduced skis that featured the silhouette of a naked woman.
Of course, maybe porn stars have been doing this for ages. Sims Snowboards partnered with adult film company Vivid to produce boards featuring naked porn stars Jenna Jameson and Briana Banks.
I will refrain from making any unsavory comment about riding these two ladies all day long as a witty but derogatory reference to them being pasted to my board.
Of course, for something a little less risque but every bit as racy, Rome Snowboards has an ‘Artifact’ line that features the words “Live Nude Girls” underneath:
The icy mountain temperatures hopefully prevent any embarrassing moments for the teenagers catching a glimpse of these new boards, but that hasn’t prevented more than a few mountains getting more than just a bit steamed up over the new boards.
So although it might be acceptable to put just about anything on a snowboard, the next generation ‘love’ series released by Burton has been getting its fair share of controversy.
See the new Burton line for yourself:
Sis?!!! Is that you?!!!!
Have these new boards been a talking point for the mountains? You betcha!
No suprise that FOX NEWS did a story on the new boards
According to this news article, a crowd of 100 gathered to protest.
So of course this raises the obvious question: If there was a range for the ladies would that at least help make things more equal? How about a few of these hunky fellas making it to the bottom of a board?
Equal rights, Burton!
How about the Brad Pitt ‘TroyBoard’
Brad Pitt has taken many a lady to the top of the mountain, I am sure! You could be next, with the new 'TroyBoard'!
Or the ‘PoshBoard’?
You might not have as much trouble grabbing your board for tricks if you had something like David Beckham to reach for. (he's totally stuffing right there - how many pairs of socks are in there - seriously!)
Of course as a hard core ‘raised on a dingos teat’ Aussie male, I cannot openly support such an idea, but would encourage those designers out there to create a new line immediately to support the boarding babes and their own carnal desires.
I might be in support a board featuring the man who has everything. He has brawn, he has looks, he has style. Every guy wants to be him, and every lady wants to be with him Who am I talking about? Come on ladies, you know your favorite sex symbol!
What red-blooded woman wouldn't jump at he chance to carve some turns on those curly chest hairs?!
Its 80′s Tom Selleck! Go ahead ladies. Soak it up… Tom Sellect now is just old, but if you could go back in time - tell me you wouldn’t want to get into a ’Private Investigation’ with Magnum P.I. ?!
Or is this just me expressing a latent man-crush… I need therapy, perhaps.
What do you think? Too sexy? Too sexist? Let your voice be heard!
Jamie Atlas
http://snowboardconditioning.wordpress.com
PS Want to read more fitness ramblings? Check out this award winning blog: http://jamieatlas.wordpress.com
